Okay maybe there's some psychoanalytical reason that someone smarter than me can explain the topic of this post away with, but my recent break-up has left me reevaluating what I'm looking for in a relationship. So a couple of months ago, I was browsing the internet image board 4chan.org (I swear to Goth this is not a regular thing, my ex was a /b/tard). I learned quickly that there is no shortage of lonely people lurking on the internet. The original message read:
And in between the expected "TITS OR GTFO" responses, I found one that I consider to be the best, wisest, but most overlooked philosophy in and about relationships.
Now I'm curious about how this applies to the alternative scene at large. If you're looking to meet someone whose company you enjoy--and someone that you would consider having a relationship with--does it matter if that person falls into the same subculture as you? Does it make it easier?
There are certain lifestyle aspects, I think, that might be more easily understood by someone who has similar inclinations. At face value, there is the appearance factor. Tattoos, piercings, clothing styles outside of the mainstream-- these are things that would be a lot easier to accept between partners if one didn't have to explain (read: give excuses for) to the other. While I understand that one doesn't have to be "Goth" or "alternative" to necessarily listen to Industrial or watch horror movies, many people in the subculture like those things and thus are less likely to judge them. And for all of the creative types, work that might be called morbid or dark is presumably less likely to be criticized by a partner who isn't shocked or disgusted by something deemed too dark at face value.
In the Goth community alone, there are several dating websites which seem to be legit places for Goths to meet each other. The website www.gothicmatch.com was featured on Tyra Banks' daytime television show (okay, so it doesn't automatically make it credible, but at least it's gotten some attention) and www.gothscene.com reminds me of a match.com, but for Goths. I don't have a profile on either of them, so admittedly I haven't tried them, but I'd be interested to hear from anyone who has.
So now I'm curious. For all of my readers, I ask you, if you consider your tastes and/or lifestyle in any way to be "alternative," does your current partner fall into that same category? Do you share similar tastes? If your partner doesn't share the same lifestyle as you, then how does your relationship work? What brings you together? And if you're not with someone right now, how does living an alternative lifestyle affect what you look for in a partner? This isn't limited to exclusively Goths, by the way. Anyone indie, punk, artsy, etc. is welcome to chime in.
Please leave your comments on the blog using the link right underneath this post. Thanks so much, and I look forward to you all giving me something to think about that I can use in a future post.